come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
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