So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
You made out with two different species that night
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
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