so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
