She just used a chaser for red wine.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
Randomize
