I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
Randomize
