C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize