i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
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