Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
Randomize
