His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
We left an ass print on the piano.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
Randomize
