At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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