Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
Do vagina's smell?
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
