she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
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