I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Randomize
