sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
