new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
A+ Viking dick
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
Randomize
