Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
it's like that moment that you're driving and realize you're lost except instead of driving i'm just sitting here in my living room drunk, eating a plate of sausages, drinking red wine and just thinking "i'm going to be 28 this year. i know people who are married, with beautiful and well behaved children. where was the wrong turn?"
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Randomize
