literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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