So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
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