shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Randomize
