I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
