Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
I need moral support for this bender
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Randomize
