epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
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