whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
