I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
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