I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Randomize
