Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
Randomize
