I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
They are going to name an STD after you.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
Randomize
