the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Randomize
