Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
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