Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
