I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Randomize
