i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
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