I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
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