True but thats because hes a fetus.
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
Randomize
