My nipple is on Facebook.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
Randomize
