it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
