I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
Randomize
