apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
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