Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
Randomize
