Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
Randomize
