a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
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