do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
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