First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
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