Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Randomize