i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
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