i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Randomize
