I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
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