my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
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