I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
You took a bar mat shot.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
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