Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
