dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
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