thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Randomize
