Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
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