whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
