I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
