I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
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