I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
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