I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
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