The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
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