Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
I like to think it a success when the cops are called
these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
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