With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
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